Life Update… And Becoming a Student Again.

I can’t believe I missed out on writing a blog post for the last two weeks. Admittedly it has been a busy couple of weeks, and I’ve had other things to do. But now I’m back, and quite a lot has happened since I was last on this blog.

So work is starting to get busy again. I work in a nursery, and we’re getting quite a few new children starting at the moment. One of them is only four months old, and they are so cute!!! But having new children start is always kind of stressful because they miss their parents, so they’re quite upset. Screaming children creates a lot of tension in the classroom.

Then last weekend I didn’t get much rest because I went to my friend’s hen-do (AKA bachelorette party). The wedding is net weekend, so I’m not going to have much free time next weekend either, but it will e totally worth it.

But possibly more important than any of that (for me personally at least) is that on Friday I finally signed my application for my childcare level three course!!! I’m so excited!! I haven’t done study in about five years, and I don’t think I was ever a particularly studious student (the depression didn’t help with that). I just want to prove to myself that I am actually capable of studying really hard and doing well. I just want to be proud of myself for doing well.

So that is going to take up a lot of my time for the next year. I’m beginning to get anxious that I’m not going to have enough time to study around working 40 hours a week, and commuting about 2 hours each day. I’m just going to end up with no free time. Although I have decided that I’m going to give myself one day each week where I don’t do any studying, otherwise I will feel like I don’t get any free time at all, and that will make me miserable.

But despite all that, I really am looking forward to studying and finally getting my childcare qualification. This time next year I’ll have my level three, I’ll be able to look for better paying jobs that are nearer to where I live. I honestly can’t wait for the day when I get to walk to work. Haha.

I can’t wait to get started on my studying. This is going to be so good, and so worthwhile. Bring it on!!

Love Bobbi. Xx.

Challenge Time.

I have decided that I am going to set myself a challenge during the month of September.

I have always struggled with getting up early in the morning, and it doesn’t matter how much I tell myself that I need to sort it out, I never seem to do anything about it.

So…

During the month of September 2018, I am going to get up at 0700 every morning.

That may not seem particularly early to a lot of people, however, as someone who regularly stays in bed until almost lunch time, this is going to be a big change for me.

Over the past couple of weeks I went away with my parents and we were going to bed around ten or eleven every night, and getting up between seven and nine each day.

I genuinely don’t remember what time I used to wake up before I went away. I just don’t remember that far back. But I know that I don’t have a regular time to wake up. It changes every single day.

I have done a lot of research online about how to get up early, and ways to help wake yourself up. Most places had pretty much the same advice: put the alarm clock across the room so you have to get out of bed to turn it off, drink a glass of water in the morning to help you wake up, exercise first thing, have a filling breakfast, go to bed early…

Now these tips are all well and good, but I’m the kind of person who will get up, turn off the alarm, then get back into bed. I don’t even bother with snooze, which is perhaps worse. It doesn’t keep waking me up mid- sleep cycle, but it doesn’t wake me up at all. I just stay in bed until I decide that I need to get up.

For the most part I work afternoons, so I don’t even need to get up until lunch time. This perhaps makes it more difficult for me, because I don’t have a reason to get out of bed in the mornings. This really bothers me because I want to be productive, I want to be happier, I want to get my life together, but I can’t seem to do any of that when I waking up between 1100 and 1330 every day.

My current lifestyle isn’t getting me anywhere, and I really want to make this change. So I’m determined to make this happen this month. This will be my first real steps to becoming a new and better version of myself. And I will do my best to keep you updated on my journey.

Until next time…

Love Bobbi. Xx.

End of the Summer.

For the past few years I have found the end of August / beginning of September to be an uncomfortable time.

Recently I’ve been craving the feeling of going back to school or university and doing it all again, but better. I guess that’s just one more thing I want to improve about my life, although this would be more difficult.

When I was in school I was never someone who put in a lot of effort. In the early days of secondary school I had all the intent of being a good little pupil, and do everything properly. However, from around year eight onward I was assuaged to a life of immaturity, and disinterest in my education. I messed around in classes a lot, and I put minimal effort into my school work and homework.

I wish I could say that I learnt from these experiences in the lower years, and improved when it was more important to my qualifications, but I can’t. I never really learnt how to revise properly, and I didn’t really need to revise much to get pass grades in my GCSE’s. This caused a problem when I got to A levels, because they were suddenly much harder.

After that my depression kicked in and stopped me from wanting to put much effort into anything. So I didn’t try very hard in sixth form or university. I got pathetic grades in both, and I don’t feel that I have done much to get me where I want to go with my future (not that I’m entirely sure what I want from my future, I just don’t feel that I can get very far with the grades I have).

I just want to be able to go back and do things properly, and fix all the mistakes that I made the first time.

I also kind of miss the feeling of routine. That feeling you get the night before you start a new school year when you have a fresh new uniform, and empty school bag, and so many possibilities ahead of you.

Why didn’t I make the most of my opportunities when I was younger?

I just don’t know what I can do about it. Now I end up getting upset every time I think about my time in school, and there is no way for me to fix it.

I wish I could just go back and change everything.

Until next time…

Love Bobbi. Xx.